call it chaotic
by punchdrunk
Summary: [AU] [SASUNARU] Three bored boys' innocent plan to mess with Uchiha Sasuke turns very very messy indeed. But not yet.


Author's Note: okay, this is kinda weird but, in this fic, i am making AKAMARU kiba's younger brother. not a dog. yes i know. very odd. oh well. read and review!

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IT WAS BEGINNING TO BE THE BORINGEST DAY OF MY LIFE.

I was wondering for the 50th time exactly _why_ I had decided to come to my bestfriend's little brother's graduation from middle school anyway.

Scowling, I shoved said bestfriend – Inuzuka Kiba – who was seated beside me. We were about 10 minutes early or so and had to sit in those seats in front of the graduation walkway. This was a middle school so I couldn't check out any chicks seeing as they would be like 13 or something! Eww, Naruto Uzumaki does. Not. Go. There. I'm not that desperate!

I poked Kiba for the tenth time in the last ten seconds.

"What?" Kiba snapped, equally pissed off.

"I'm sooo BORED." I complained loudly.

Kiba rolled his eyes. "Ok, go tell it to someone who cares."

"Kiba!" I groaned. "Jerk." I should have known talking to him wouldn't help.

"Shut up already." Kiba told me, sitting straighter in his seat to look for his little brother Akamaru.

The two almost looked alike. Kiba had messy brown hair, jagged bangs falling into chocolate brown eyes with a tint of dark-orange. His teeth were abnormally sharp giving him resemblance to a dog. Which was fitting. Kiba was obsessed with dogs. I knew what _position_ would be HIS favorite. Ha ha.

I blew the bangs from my face, and slouched in my chair.

My blue eyes scanned the crowd. Parents, old people, little kids… this place was lame. I looked forward to where a bunch of teachers were sitting. Even OLDER people. Nerdy guy with ginormous glasses even my grandmother wouldn't wear. I was pretty sure I had a look on my face like I smelled some piss.

Then that's when I saw _him_ and my whole…EXPRESSION change. Thought I was gonna say life, eh? Well maybe that too.

He had just exited from the school cafeteria and was walking to where the teachers were sitting. He looked slim and lean in his loose navy slacks and black button up shirt.

He was pale and his hair was admittedly really cool. Spiky and wild in the back, but he had soft bangs in the front. They were dark, a midnight blue, and fell over obsidian eyes. He had a defined jawline and my eyes drifted to his full looking lips that was in a scowl.

"Who…is THAT?" I asked, grabbing Kiba's face in between my fingers and making him face where the direction of the mysterious guy.

"Hey cut it out - who's who?" Kiba said, before looking where I was showing him. He didn't quite have the same reaction as me.

"I told you who that is!"

"Wha- you did!??"

"Yeah, about a month ago." Kiba pried my hands off him and brushed his shoulders off. Then he looked at me as I stared at him expectantly.

"That's Uchiha Sasuke."

-------  
FLASH.back  
-------;

It was a Monday afternoon, and Kiba and I had skipped school. We were in his room, which was messy as usual, with empty potato chip bags on the floor and random energy drinks scattered about. Kiba took a drink of his Rockstar from his seat on his bed. I was lying on the floor on my stomach, playing a video game intensely.

"Who the FUCK is shooting me!!!!!" I asked as calmly as I could. Sometimes I could get **really** into the game.

"Me, you dumbass." Kiba snickered.

"Eat shit, dogboy!" I shouted as I threw a grenade at Kiba's bitch ass character on the game. Too bad it bounced against a wall and hit me in the butt. "Noooooooo!" I moaned, covering my face in my hands.

I heard Kiba's elated laughter behind me and he thew an empty Rockstar can at my head. "Boom, bitch!"

"OW!" I yelped and turned to glare at Kiba, who was in hysterics.

The door burst open and in came Kiba's mother. She was a tall, a woman, and scary. She was kind of like Kiba in female form and 30 years older. See, SCARY.

I avoided eye contact and mumbled a hello. Damn she scares me!!!! I shuddered.

I think she was telling Kiba to go pick Akamaru from school in an hour or something. She didn't seem to notice that we had skipped school and immediately went off to work.

Kiba was in the midst of opening a new energy drank as I clicked options to start a new game.

"Yo, Naruto."

"Wha." I replied distractedly as I tried to find the most powerful weapon to shove up Kiba's-

"Guess what Akamaru told me?"

"Wha." I said again as I clicked the ULTIMATE ROCKETLAUNCHER 3000. Hehehe…

"There's a new guy at his school. Teacher's Aid or some shit like that." Kiba went on, picking a simple shotgun. What, does he think I can be killed so easily?! Bastard!!!!

"Uhhuh…"

Kiba licked his lips. "Akamaru has him for 2 periods after lunch."

"Wow…" I said as I searched for a second weapon. I am so getting this sharpshooter!

"Dark hair, skinny, all the middle school chicks are on his jock. Even high school ones from what I hear..." Kiba was saying. "Akamaru said he once asked the guy for a pencil and he was a complete a-hole. Uchiha Sasuke or something."

"_Sounds_ like a complete asshole." I said absentmindedly.

"Right? Just the description of him sounds assholic. He must a proper pampered prissy little punk."

I suddenly zoned back to the conversation. I furrowed my eyebrows and looked back at kiba. "Wait a second, why is your lil brother talking nonstop about some **GUY** at his school anyway?" I asked, snickering.

Kiba shrugged, scowling. "It's not like that, you dumbass. He's just a real jerk and needs to get in check."

"Oh, yeah of course…" I said, putting 2 handicaps on myself while I was sure Kiba wasn't paying attention.

"Yeah, lets' kick his ass sometime." Kiba suggested. "and delete those handicaps."

"Aww man!"

---  
end flashback  
---

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!" I gasped, looking at Kiba wide eyed.

"What."

"THAT-" I pointed to the guy that was now seated with the teachers with a sour expression on his face. "Is the guy you want us to beat up!?"

Kiba nodded. "Oh yeah I forgot I said that. Yeah, let's do it after the promotion!"

My jaw dropped, and I stared at the guy with narrowed eyes. But he's so… I don't know why but my first impression of the bastard was that he is really really COOL.

I crossed my arms. "Why don't we just be his friend? He looks kinda lonely."

"Really?" Kiba asked, squinting. "I thought his looks kinda screamed 'I HATE EVERYONE&EVERYTHING. BITCHES, FALL BACK'."

Now that I thought about it, I had to agree with Kiba. Jeez, would it kill him to smile? The guy was freaking emo! I don't know why I thought he was cool 10 seconds ago! What is wrong with me. It was the boredom! Yeah! And the heat, and my empty stomach! That's why!

"Look, it's starting."

Annnnd finally it was!

The actualy promotion was pretty boring. Ok fine. IT WAS BORING AS HELL. I had to sit on my hands to keep from braiding the girl sitting in front of me's hair. It was so nice and black, silky and smooooth looking.

"Inuzuka Akamaru." Finally, I thought as Kiba's little brother crossed the ghetto cheap ass "stage" which ws really just a platform that you could fold and buy at costco for 50 bucks.

"THAT'S MY BROTHER!!!!!" Kiba yelled stupidly, standing up and howling.

"FUCK YEA!!!!!!" I shouted as well, standing up and jumping up and down. Damn I forgot my Akamaru sign! Kiba's mother was louder than both of us as well as his sister and her annoying friends who thought akamaru was the "cutest thing ever"

Over all, Akamaru seemed like a celebrity for a total of ten seconds. Also in that ten seconds, dark cold eyes met mine for the first time.

Uchiha Sasuke was looking at me.

It's going to sound a little gay…okay, fine. It's going to sound gay AS ALL HELL but it's the only way to be described.

I couldn't help but feel a little…weak in the knees at the intensity of his gaze. It was kinda a glare actually. Maybe he was thinking "STFU" in his mind. I held the glare for 5 full seconds before Kiba hugged me in a boy-hug and crushed me against his chest.

"Yesss!!" Kiba said as I tried to breathe.

"You're suffocating me." I dry heaved.

"Oops." Kiba said, letting me go and we both sat back in our chairs. I looked back at Sasuke but he was looking away. "My bad."

The rest of the assembly went by without anything interesting. I admit, I kept randomly glancing at the dark haired boy but each time, he was staring at something ANYTHING else but me. Bastard. Unfriendly bastard!

After what felt like hours but was probably only 40 minutes, the whole thing ended. The crowd dispersed into little groups of people, family and friends. Akamaru was grinning as he ran to us with his diploma and CAKE.

"Where did you get that!" I demanded at the delicious looking goodness.

Akamaru grinned and I swear he looked just like Kiba. "In the cafeteria. You have to be a graduate to get some though."

I was running before he finished his sentence. YESSS free food! Im not a freeloader. Uhh, just who could resist the free cake! I don't even know WHERE the entrance to the cafeteria is!

I ran in the place where there was less people so I can get in faster. I'm so smart I know.

The door was already open so I zoomed in at 50 miles per hour.

_Cake cake cake_, I chanted in my mind.

Too bad someone just so happened to be in between my way and the cake.

Someone with dark hair and pale skin, dark eyes and an even darker glare as the abrupt collision caused us to fall over haphazardly and quite comically. My speed hit him hard, forcing him to fall backwards into the girls bathroom which was right behind him. I had no control of my footing and fell forward.

I opened my eyes and we had somehow landed in the girl's bathroom.

My vision was met with the pink girly walls of the super clean girl's shithouse. Aww there was no couch? EVERYONE TOLD ME THERE WOULD BE! My whole life is filled with lies!

The next thing I noticed was the warm completely tense body beneath me.

I looked down.

Flushed cheeks and a hard glare. Uchiha sasuke!

Oooops.

"Err. Are you ok?" I asked, sheepishly as I used my arms to lift myself up. I still hovered over him though.

He looked like he was anything but okay.

"Get off."

Ok ok, I could tell when someone is angry! I quickly rolled off him and landed on mybutt. He got up too, and touched a hand to the back of his head gingerly before shooting me a death glare.

"Did you break something?" I asked, leaning to see where his hand was touching the back of his head.

He gave me the Glare Of Death. "I will break something if you dont watch where you're going next time."

...JEEZ! Sup, asshole of the year!

The jerk was out the door before i could respond to his remark.

What.

What a dick! How dare he threaten me! It wasnt even COMPLETELY my fault... Arrghghhhh! Bastard! I hate him! Im all for it now, Kiba! Let's jump him -

I quickly exited the bathroom feelng embarassed as several little girls that were about to enter the bathroom stared at me weirdly. I laughed nervously before rushing into the cafeteria.

FINALLY! There, in the middle of it all, was a huge delicious cake! Many people were already around it and I licked my lips. Oh, fuck yeah.

After waiting like 3 minutes, I was able to get my cake and punch and I got the hell out of there before they could realize I didn't look like an 8th grader.

I stepped outside and saw Kiba and Akamaru in the distance. Their sister was taking picts of them with her digital camera. Kiba spotted me and beckoned me over.

"Someone got lost." Akamaru sneered.

"Shut up." I said. "I had a little detour."

"Detour meaning you robbed everyone and their mom of their cakes?" Kiba asked.

"No, dammit." I said as I stuffed a huge piece of cake in my mouth. I looked at my plate sadly to see it was almost finished.

"Then what happened?" Akamaru wanted to know, he looked relieve as his sisters+friends walked off to go to the bathroom and his mom began conversing with one of his friends parents.

"I ran into someone." I said honestly.

"Does this someone have a name?"

"That _bastard_." I muttered, darkly. He was srsly a jerk-off with people problems.

"Whoa, no way." Kiba gasped. "You mean Uchiha Sasuke?"

I looked up quickly. "Where?!"

"…it was a question, man."

"OH. I knew that."

"Oh, jeez." Akamaru groaned from where he was seated on a school bench.

Kiba and I turned to look at him. "Jeez, what?"

"Don't tell me you think he's soooooo cool just like the rest of the dumbasses here!" Akamaru said, sticking his finger in his mouth as a sign of disgust and rolling his eyes.

"Don't do that." Kiba said, eye twitching at the bad image that crossed his mind at the gagging sight of Akamaru.

"I DON'T do that." Akamaru muttered.

"WHAT! I don't think that bastard is COOL! NOT AT ALL!" I yelled, shaking my fist in his face and saying _cool_ like it was a curse word. "was it my fault I didn't see him pop out of nowhere and accidentally tackled him into the girls bathroom!?!!?"

"…"

"Dude, you went to the girl's bathroom??" Kiba asked, bewildered.

"Uh, yeah hehe."

"You're a freak, man! How was it? Couch?" Kiba said, interest sparked. I scratched the back of my head.

"Actually it just looks like a normal bathroom cept the walls are pink and shit-"

"Shut it, you losers." Akamaru rolled his eyes. "About the Sasuke-bastard… I have his phone number."

"…"

"…"

Akamaru rolled his eyes again before grinning toothily. "Stop looking at me like that. That's not what I mean."

"What DO you mean, little brother?" Kiba asked, slowly, as if he didn't wanna know the answer.

"I have his _number_." Akamaru repeated. "We could mess with him a little."

"Ohhhhhh I get it!!!" I said as if the light had been brought to my eyes. "You want us to MESS with him, right?!"

"…didn't I just say that."Akamaru deadpanned.

Kiba nodded. "Yeah, you did."

"But how?" I asked confused. "Bastard doesn't seem to let anything faze him."

"Ah, so you observed that in the last hour you knew him huh?" Akamaru sneered. "Well, get this. I've been stuck 2 hours a day with him for the past month. TRUST ME, I know what ticks him off."

"Tell tell!" Kiba and I jeered.

"Alright. Here's the plan."

--

What's the plan?! You'll just have ta find out in ta next chapter, dont ya? ;) plz, review and tell me exactly what you thought! THIS IS SASUNARU btw.


End file.
